You and your spouse may have been thinking about getting a divorce for some time now. Your marriage is not working out like it used to and you think you may be better off apart. But something is holding you back from pulling the trigger and filing for divorce.
Your children are one of the most important parts of your life and you do not want a divorce to ruin their lives. You have heard of the negative impact a divorce can have on children and you might not want to put them through the trauma of their parents splitting up.
However, this may not even be true. Information now says divorce may not be the traumatizing experience for children that it has been made out to be. In fact, getting a divorce may actually benefit your children.
What does this mean?
A study in the UK found that long term arguments and conflict-filled households could be a greater danger to a child’s mental health than a divorce itself. Research indicates that children who experience ongoing or intense conflict can develop anxiety, sleep problems and even depression.
Another study showed that fighting between parents before a divorce sometimes has a worse impact on children than the divorce itself.
How is staying together a bad thing?
If you and your spouse constantly disagree or argue, this could be a bad influence on your children. Even “private” arguments are likely to expose your child to negative relationships and conflict. Children are close observers of their parents and they are likely to pick up on arguments even behind closed doors.
What should I do?
All this points to the fact that divorce may not be the worst thing in the world for your child’s stability and happiness. While it may have some negative impact, signs show that an unhappy and conflict-filled marriage may be worse for your child than getting a divorce.
Of course, all situations are different and there is no true rule-of-thumb for divorce and marriage. However, divorce should not be completely ruled out, just because of concern for your children. They may actually feel a sense of relief because of it.