Making the transition from a married parenting team to a divorced parenting team is challenging. When you were married, there was a common goal of making sure your home was running properly. Now, you have to think about your house and your ex has to think about theirs. The children you share are sometimes stuck in the middle of this.
It’s possible that you may become so focused on the smaller issues during the split that you overreact to them instead of handling them appropriately. It’s always best to focus on the bigger issues that can impact the health or safety of your children.
Determining what to fight over
When you encounter an issue during the early days of co-parenting, it can seem like it’s a huge deal even when isn’t. Instead of jumping headfirst into every situation, take time to think about what’s really going on. Some smaller issues might not require you to do anything. The best thing to do is to determine how the problem will impact your children. If the answer is that it really won’t affect them or that it might affect them a little, you’ll probably do best to just leave the problem alone.
The problems that sometimes come up when you’re co-parenting don’t have anything to do with your house. If the issue is contained to your ex’s home and isn’t directly causing unsafe or unhealthy conditions for your children, it might be best to step back and let your ex handle things at their home. Remember, you won’t want them trying to run your house so pay them that respect.
Working as a team
There are instances in which the issue related to the children might require both parents to help resolve them. In these cases, try not to lay blame for the problem, even if it is due solely to something your ex did. Placing your focus on helping to find the resolution sets a good example for your children. Additionally, it helps to keep the stress down so that the children aren’t unnecessarily suffering.
Try to remain positive about what’s going on. Your children might look toward you to see how to handle challenges. Showing them that even difficult situations can have good outcomes can help them tremendously.
One thing that might help you to avoid having to put these tips into practice is having a solid parenting plan. The terms outlined here will help to guide you as you navigate through your new way of life.
