Once you decide that your marriage is over, your first instinct might be to file for divorce. If you have children, this might not be the best option. A better solution might be remaining in a parenting marriage with your child’s other parent. This isn’t a conventional choice, but some parents are finding it useful when the situation arises.
Sometimes, couples know that the marriage is over for years before they finally choose to act on the decision. Once this is done, everyone involved will begin to feel the pressures. As the process drones on, the stress might increase. This is partially because of the gravity of what’s happening and partly because of the fatigue that starts to set in.
Deciding whether a parenting marriage is right for you
A parenting marriage means that you remain married, but instead of focusing on a romantic relationship, you focus strictly on raising the children. It can be a bit of a shift for the dynamics of your home. The children can reap the benefits of this arrangement because their parents are still working as a team and there might be a chance for reconciliation.
One thing that you have to decide is where both adults will live. If there is a spare room in the marital home, one person might move there. Alternatively, one adult could move out. You could also use the bird’s nest parenting style, which means the kids live in the home and the adults rotate in and out based on the parenting time schedule.
Prepare for the waiting period
Parenting marriages are often temporary measures. When you do decide to divorce, you have a 60-day cooling off period that starts at the date you file. The court can’t finalize the divorce until the waiting period is over. You should prepare for this so that you know what you are going to do during this time. You can use this time to hash out any divorce terms that you didn’t already have set prior to filing.
It is imperative that you work things out, including child custody, as quickly as possible when the marriage officially ends. The court can’t grant the divorce until this is all set. If you and your ex can’t agree to the terms together, you will need to have a trial before the court. This can considerably lengthen the time it takes to divorce.
